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Christmas gifts

  • Posted on December 31, 2008 at 3:44 pm

I have a few questions about Christmas gifts.

What was the gift you loved giving? Mine were the temple bags I got my parents because my mom kept asking where I got mine and mentioning that she couldn’t find one she felt was worth the price. I love gifting gifts that someone has wanted and not been able to get for themselves for whatevr reason. It just seems to mean more when the one your giving it to sees how much effort you put into your gift.

What was a gift you felt you could take back that you gifted? Mine was a loaf of bread. I was so proud that I had the idea to gift bread this year and then I cut into one of my loaves and about half way through it there was a doughy spot about the size of a golf ball or a liitle bit bigger. Those I gifted it to would never let me know how doughy my  bread was so I guess I just have to remeber it was the thought that counts. I mean, how was I supposed to know it would be dough inside when the ouside was such a nice golden brown,right?

Where you able to focus more on the reason for the season or the festivities of the day or some other focus that had nothing to do with the Savior?  It took our branch choir to help me refocus.  I will admit it was still a little difficut; however, I did give it my best effort. Yes, I ang in our choir. I even sang in a quintet(5 ?). Anyway, we sang Mary’s Lullaby from the children’s song book.  I think it went rather well considering that I hadn’t sung in a choir or sang with a small group like that since 2005. I love to sing!

Well, See you next year!

Merry Christmas

  • Posted on December 23, 2008 at 10:06 am

 To all my friends~



Merry Christmas!



Hope this holiday season brings you joy and happiness that will last throughout the New Year!




  • Posted on December 19, 2008 at 12:21 pm

Tomorrow marks the three year anniversary of Justin, Spencer, and Raquel’s Death. A lot has happened since that tragic day.
1. I graduated from the College of Southern Idaho.
2. I met new friends who have helped me through this journey.
3. Forgiveness,let me clarify this one. I forgave Jim almost immediately for his actions. I think that this came with his conviction. Some people have said he Should have received the death pennaltyfor his actions and asked me if what I felt about his sentance and I said that it is as it should be. When asked why I said simply that he can live his life thinking about what he did to his own children and my hope is someday his heart will be filled with regret. If he were to have gotten the death penalty he would not have the opportunity to learn anything and think on the graveness of his actions.In my opinion, his actions would have been rewarded and he would have had no time to feel remorse because in his mind he did our children a service by taking their lives and to him death was not a punishment it was a reward for his actions because he felt he would be with them because he had saved them from a life with me and my family . It is because I know  he paying for his actions that I have forgiven him. In the last few months, I came to forgive his parents as well. I just decided that it was time because I wanted to be free from the hurt and pain that I felt was a result of his parent’s actions. I did this with the help of my new friend,Maxine.

4. I wrecked my car.

5. I found a new car and with it came more new friends.

6. I love and laugh

7. I have gained a strong testimony of my savior and his Atonement and the role it plays in our everyday lives.

8. A gratitude for the small things

9. Worrying about things doesn’t make them go away it makes them appear bigger than they really are. So it just isn’t woth my time,

The list could go on; however, I think you get the idea. I miss my children;however, their death hasn’t taken away mine. Justin, Spencer, Ian and Raquel I love you!

Dying Young

  • Posted on December 18, 2008 at 10:53 am

Okay so D TV has its advantages. I can catch up on all the movies I wanted to see just never did for whatever reason. Dying Young just happened to be one of those. The ultimate love story. First for Hillary’s willingness to stay and be Victor’s nurse and then his desire for her to see him normal. Both their fears very legitamate. Hillary’s not knowing if she was strong enough to watch him suffer and his that she would leave when his illness began to be to overwelming. My favorite part was the end and at the same time not wanting it to have an open ending where the viewer could devise the ending. His Lukemia had plagued him for 10 years and he was tired of fighting and she decided to stay and let him know she wasn’t going anywhere.She just wanted him to continue to fight and she would be there if he lived or died. I find myself taking different characteristics from movies and adding them to my list that makes up true blue through and through love. I have discovered since I have begun that not much is on the list it all boils down to: trust, respect, willingness to sacrifce for the other, encouragement and knowing that they instill a desire in you to be all you can be.Movie gets 4 out of  5 stars for the open ending I myself  do not like to be kept to my own imagination. I feel I have lost said imagination when I was in the fourth grade shortly after I created my robot Ralph for  a  project.  I’ll tell you more about Ralph some other time.

movies and music

  • Posted on December 5, 2008 at 10:08 am

Right now I am listening to the August Rush Sound track and it is just beautiful music! My cousin, Amy told me rescently that I was definately into movies. Those are not her exact words; however, it is what I understood her to say. she is right I am! A movie becomes my instant favorite if it is a well acted movie based on a true story, a feel good drama/love story, a story line with a good positive message,a actor or actess I like/good storyline( if the storyline doesn’t catch my fancy then the movie doesn’t get on my list) suspense that keeps me interested or a great soundtrack combined with one of the above characteristics. August Rush is my favorite for the music and the storyline. Very touching and heart warming. There is music all around us if we are will to listen!

I find it interesting when I like a movie for its storyline and message despite my dislike for an actor and previous rolls he has played. The perfect example of this is Kungfu Panda. I am not particularly fond of Jack Black’s previous roles because I don’t ever find immature behavior funny and, to me, he has played an immature/gross humored character roles until this movie. It has a great message: “There is no seret ingredient.” We are all capable of great things because of who we are and what we are capable of. We just need to believe in ourselves and we can do anything.

I just love movies which might become a weakness since my brother has gotten Direct TV unless I exercise a lot of self control. Well, that’s all for now!

God Lives Under the Bed

  • Posted on December 3, 2008 at 2:55 pm


I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that’s what I heard him say one night.

He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, ‘Are you there, God?’ he said. ‘Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed…’

I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin’s unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he’s 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult.

He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life?

Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.

The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.

He does not seem dissatisfied.

He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work.

He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day’s laundry chores.

And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That’s the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculates loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. ‘That one’s goin’ to Chi-car-go!’ Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.

His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.

He doesn’t know what it means to be discontent.

His life is simple.

He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be.

His hands are diligent. Kevin is never as happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it.

He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.

He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure.

He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.

Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God – to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an ‘educated’ person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.

In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith.

It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions.

It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances – they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God’s care.

Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.

And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I’ll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.

Kevin won’t be surprised at all! (Will you?)

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost, but a lot of rewards.(very true!)


My to do list…

  • Posted on December 2, 2008 at 2:51 pm

An Angel says, ‘Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.’

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good ‘Thank you Jesus .’
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

WHEW!!! That is quite a tall order; however, with a little help and alot determination I will prevail! After all, what do I have to loose? Nothing. What do i have to gain? Everything!
Romans 8:31

Am I fireman Yet??

  • Posted on December 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Am I A Fireman Yet??


In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26- year-old mother stared down at her 6-year-old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.

Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.

The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son’s dream to come true.

She took her son’ s hand and asked, ‘Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?’

Mommy, ‘I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up..’

Mom smiled back and said, ‘Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.’

Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix.

She explained her son’s final wish and asked If it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, ‘Look, we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary
Fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! And if you’ll give us his sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform For
him, with a real fire hat – not a toy –
One-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.’

‘They’re all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.’

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.

Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station.

He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic’s van, and even the fire chief’s car.

He was also videotaped for the local news program.

Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept – that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the
Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.

The chief replied, ‘we can do better than that. We’ll be there in five minutes.
Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that
there is not a fire?’
‘It’s the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time.
And will you open the window to his room?’

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy’s third floor open window——–16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy’s room.

With his mother’s permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.

With his dying breath,
Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,
‘Chief, am I really a fireman now?’

‘Billy, you are, and the Head Chief,
Jesus, is holding your hand,’ the chief said

With those words, Billy smiled and said,
‘I know, He’s been holding my hand all day, and
The angels have been singing..’

He closed his eyes one last time.  

Just thinking out loud

  • Posted on November 19, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Why is death so scary. Ever since I was little I can remember being scared of dying under the knife just falling asleep and not waking up and now that I am older I am not afraid of going under the knife and never waking up. I am afraid of caskets. In fact, I can honestly say I HATE them and those who know me know I don’t hate many things. One of my great unlces passed away rescenly and it took all the courage I could muster to be in the room during the family prayer. When I’ve talked to friends and family about this fear they all have said, “Its understandable.” Why is it understandable? Yes, I’ve lost my children;however, I have a testimony of where they are and that if I don’t comletely gafa it up I will be their mother for eternity. When I followed my Father in Heaven and his son I beleive with all my heart that I raised my hand wthout hesistation and said: yes,I will go and do. I knew then as I know now that death is part of plan ,a necaessary part, in order to become like my Father and Mother in Heaven. My Great Uncle lived a good and full life and now he at peace continuing his work and I feel that I should have been happy for him because he can do so many things he could not do here and I wasn’t. I am now because I thoughts and feelings I have had since his funeral I just feel like I should have felt it before now because of my experiences.


  • Posted on November 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm

I don’t know why I waited so long to do it because it was cleansing and I found joy in it. I started scapbooking my children’s pictures! it all started with the pictures being put on just white paper with tabs and placed in clear sheet protectors and then I took oodles of pictures to show my friends at girls’ night becase they wanted to see them and because it was a scrapbooking night. I am only did two pages; however, they turned out great and I am sooo proud of myself. It is to bad that only the girls at girls’ night got to see the finished product because they turned out so well. I don’t feel that I am that crafty or creative so to see these pages were like a testimonial that I am crafty and I am creative. ever since girls’ night I have looked at pictures and looked at the paper I have and I have tried to create more page;however, none of the pictures seem to fit the paper. Its okay though because now I want to have a memory book with their pictures so I am not hunting for them inside of a box! What a pain that is!