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Day 2 on the new fork in my road

  • Posted on August 1, 2012 at 11:56 am

My new journey began the day that I quit my job.Its the first job where I worked 40 hrs a week and had benefits.I did this because I was not happy where I was.I feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders.I am free to do whatever I want.So yesterday I exercised and I fixed a dresser drawer where I found a swimming suit that has been missing for about a month.  I  also applied for two positions to be closer to home but most of all I relaxed. I have not relaxed in a very long. I was traveling 45 minutes one way to earn the all mighty dollar. well no more.I am going to start my life new today and my new goal is to be happy and bask in the joy of my life. Joy is always right in front of us and for some reason we refuse to reach out and grab it because we are afraid of the unknown. the unknown is is full of uncertainty of it all. Will it be good or bad.someone once told me that everyday is a good day because a day is what you make it.I lost sight of that and it didn’t matter what the silver lining was i always saw the glass as half empty.well starting today I will look at this life in a whole new way. the glass is half full.

so the year in review…

  • Posted on December 18, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Not much has happened this year;however there was one MAJOR change I traded up in the job department. I now have a full time job its been just about three months. I have met many new and exciting people and I have grown alot. I have an attidtude similar to the little engine that could instead of my old manta I can’t because…I still have a ways to go but the impoirtant thing is I have to file state and federal taxes. Yes, I am actually looking forward to that!Call me crazy I don’t care I can do anything!
Oh, I currently have two favorite artists bcause I can’t choose just one. Lee DeWyze and Sara Barelllies. sweet Serendipidy(Lee) and Between the lines(Sara) are a couple of my favorites!!
Oh and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part I rocks!!!
One more thing,I got a new winter coat for 50 bucks(orginally 200smackaroos,I know can you believe it!Soooo awesome!!!) and it rocks cuz its purple and has a cell phone pocket on the inside(how cool is that??!!!!)!!!

Memorial flowers

  • Posted on June 1, 2010 at 11:57 am

Memorial Day flowers
Thanks go out to Aunt Cerese and Grandma!!

Why is crying so Damn hard

  • Posted on December 16, 2009 at 10:13 am

Okay, so I deleted an entry. It was a draft that I started months ago. I deleted it because I realized that it wasn’t how I felt anymore. I actually wish I was having an out of body experience because then maybe the emotions that I feel would flow more freely instead of remaining just below the surface aching to be set free. A few days ago I watched a Christmas special and knew it would help me to cry. I don’t what it is but I just don’t cry to cry. My life is currently well…and I should have cried, but instead I have a head splitting headache (yes I have been drinking water.) and its been so bad that I have been going to bed every night this week at 8 P.M. no exceptions and my heart aches and I want to throw things and….cry until I can’t cry anymore. So why is it so damn hard!?


  • Posted on December 11, 2009 at 10:42 am

I believe that life is a proving ground and I also believe that our life is what we make it. The ironic thing is life experiences can either be of our making(the choices we make) or they can be generated out of no where(not within our control they just happen). I have come to know from personal experience that they both are equally just as difficult to cope with and I wonder, “what the hell.” and move on or I simply put my hands in the air and say,”I give.I am done.My heart can’t take any more.”
I’m there…

What a wy to start off a week…

  • Posted on October 19, 2009 at 8:21 am

I got in my car this morning and the battery was not just dead it was DEAD!!I hadto call my boss for a ride. The ironic thing here is that the last time I drove it was on friday to get a sixpoint check at Les Sscwab and one of the problems was my battery. The thing is my car seems to have a mind of its own.I don’t turn the lights on on the miror and they seem to always come on. In fact, I think that it was them that draned my battery. Now the question is who has jumper cables cuz I don’t…maybe I should invest in some.


  • Posted on September 29, 2009 at 12:39 pm

I hate days that drag,days where my emotions are all over the place and I HATE days when I CANNOT focus!! It drives me literally insane, especially when I need to focus on projects at work or just want to feel happy and not have my emotions going in every direction. My hope in writing this is that I will get focused and be on task for the remainder of the day, well at least until I get off work. I geuss that is my first wish hopefully it won’t be wasted. Genie, I want to finish the work I set out to do and then go home with a sense of accomplishement and satisfaction that I got some important work done today. Well, here goes…

Happy ending

  • Posted on July 21, 2009 at 8:33 am

i just had to post today and share what happened to me yeterday. I was looking for space organizers, glasses,spoons and Blistex, but instead I found a little boy who lost his mom. He couldn’t have been any older than four or five. So I went up to him and asked him if he knew his mom’s name. He told me her name and I told him he would be okay we would find her and he took my hand. We walked to the customer service desk and they announced lost mommy over the intercom. I waited with the little boy until his mom came and went back to my shopping. I cried which came as a surprise at the time;however, it didn’t take long before I realized the reason for the tears. I thought about my boys and how that could have been them. I over heard the mom ask the boy why he had lost her and he said because he was watching a video game. They talked about it and as I walked away she scooped him up in her arms as he cried softly. I remember when Justin took some candy from the store and I had him apologize to the clerk. He was crying too. He never did take anything from a store without asking again and I believe that little boy,at least I hope, never lets his mom out of his sight again.
The other thought I had was he and his mom were foutunate to have had someone like me find him and not some sicko. The thought just makes me shudder. He was so trusting and would have taken anyone’s hand. I am so glad he took mine.

That trip I found only Blistex and I remembered I needed something for my misquito bites. On my way out of the parking lot there was a woman who needed help because her car had broke down, but I didn’t help her because I didn’t have what she needed and I was alone. I came back to walmart a second time because they had the best deals on the spoons and glasses and she wasn’t there so someone else helped her. The experience with the little boy made me more aware of others who need help.I want more of that because despite the tears I was happy that this boy and his mom had a “happy ending” and it was because I was part of it.
I still didn’t get the storage items and they were what I wanted the most.Oh, well their happy ending was worth it.

MAJOR transitions

  • Posted on July 7, 2009 at 9:17 am

It has been a looong time since I experienced a real transition. I mean there are days I find myself still experiencing the last one, which was quite a doosy, it will be four years this December! These particular transitions (the ones I am experiencing like right now.) are coming to a close. I say coming to a close because as of the nineteenth or hopefully the thirtieth of this month I will not be living with my brothers as well as being employed more than 19 hours a week. Until now I hadn’t really known the stress of finding a place to live or finding employment because the living situations just fell into my lap ad so did the jobs. This time around I have had to work REALLY hard at both. It has been brutal! I have looked in the paper, asked friends and just started to randomly call apartment listed in the Yellow pages in an effort to find a situation that suited my needs and didn’t empty my pockets without anything to live on until a better job or one to go with the job came along. A friend has opened her house to me asking for rent that I can afford under my current income and I have applied for jobs ranging from secretary/administrative assistant to teachers’ aide. I still haven’t sucked it up to apply for a job in the fast food industry, but that may change depending on my success. It is true that even if the job pays my rent that makes it worth it until I find something more permanent.

How did this all come about, you ask? Well, its very simple someone called interested in buying Shane’s house, they looked at it, made an offer and it was accepted. Its amazing sometimes how one decision can bring about MAJOR transitions. Transitions that I knew were on the horizon, but ignored simply because it wasn’t a priority because I had want I needed, a job and a place to live. Its also amazing how one can move so quickly and feel as though the world is crashing in on them because they procrastinated. Don’t worry though, I am looking forward to the changes with determination and a positive attitude, most days…


  • Posted on June 12, 2009 at 9:56 am

I can see!!!!You don’t know what ya got til you loose it and the past three months of my life have been proof of that.Man oh man it feels so good to just be able to read the word “stop”! I went and got my new lens this morning and I have been reading street signs and business signs non-stop its crazy, but I feel so good. Who would have thunk that a simple lens change would be sooo life changing!Well, I gotta get going.I have work to do. Life is good!