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family

  • Posted on March 31, 2009 at 8:56 am

I was just reading my cousin’s blog and one of her entries was about a day that her dad came and spent time with her girls and one of her nieces. It made me think about my dad and the time he spent with my kids and the joy it brought to their lives. I have two nieces and they mean just as much to him as my children when they were alive. Not that it should be any other way its just that it is just fun to watch my dad interact with his grand kids. I see a side of him that age and time has seemed to erode in my memory and when I see him play with them and hold them I am able to go back in time and remember my childhood and the memories of going with him on cattle drives, road trips and just the one-on-one time with my dad that made me feel like I was on top of the world. He did those same kinds of things with my kids. They absolutely loved riding Sweetie.

Raquel on Sweetie

Raquel was so pleased with herself when she got to ride all by herself. She loved it so much that there were times she just DID NOT want to get off. My dad was such a softy because sometime he would take her around a couple more times before she would have to get off and let one of her brothers have a turn or Sweetie needed a rest and riding time was over.

About a week and a half ago I needed a blessing and so my dad and my brother-in-law came with my mom and sister to give me a blessing. After the blessing, they looked at the notebook that I had complied ,with my friend Maxine’s help, and we talked about Raquel and the boys. My dad mentioned that the picture I had chosen for the notebook of him and Raquel at Lacey’s wedding was his favorite and he also commented on the pictures of the kids on Sweetie. I know I have mentioned this before; however, some things are just worth repeating. We were able to share memories with each other that mean something to all of us. Michael will always be “Tough Guy” and my children will always and for eternity be grand children. It hurts sometimes when my mom brags like other grandmas do about the number of grand kids she has. It’s NOT because she brags it’s because four of the six grand children are not with us. They are just in our hearts and memories. I am glad that she mentions them despite the hurt because it reaffirms the testimony that I have of eternal families and I remember it was my mom who helped to cultivate that testimony.

It is because of my family old and new that I am able to look forward ,with a brightness of hope , to the time that I will be with my family once again Never to be separated from them.

FINALLY!!!

  • Posted on November 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm

I don’t know why I waited so long to do it because it was cleansing and I found joy in it. I started scapbooking my children’s pictures! it all started with the pictures being put on just white paper with tabs and placed in clear sheet protectors and then I took oodles of pictures to show my friends at girls’ night becase they wanted to see them and because it was a scrapbooking night. I am only did two pages; however, they turned out great and I am sooo proud of myself. It is to bad that only the girls at girls’ night got to see the finished product because they turned out so well. I don’t feel that I am that crafty or creative so to see these pages were like a testimonial that I am crafty and I am creative. ever since girls’ night I have looked at pictures and looked at the paper I have and I have tried to create more page;however, none of the pictures seem to fit the paper. Its okay though because now I want to have a memory book with their pictures so I am not hunting for them inside of a box! What a pain that is!

I have a favor..

  • Posted on November 6, 2008 at 11:17 am

I woke up this morning with the overwhelming need to find out what my family’s favorite memories of my kids were.I don’t know it was like I know what my favorite memories of them are and to be honest it has taken me this long to realize what some of them even were. For example, Justin loved to spend time with grandpa. When grandpa got home from school Justin knew that he was going to feed the horses so he would go help. Another example, is how he would always tell grandma : “This is dang good Grandma!”. I think my mom is the best cook in the world hands down; however, to hear him say that was just a reminder to me,at least, that we were lucky to have a mom and a grandma that was a good cook. My favorite is Justin’s Thanksgiving hand turkey. On his hand turkey he had things he was thankful for: my mom, my grandma,Spencer,my sister and, the icying on the cake, love my family always. I am gratefful that he put that on his “feathers” because it reminds me every time that I look at it that his family was/is the most important thing to him and that families are eaternal and he knows that.

I have few readers who knew my kids so my favor is for you to write down your favorite memories of your kids somewhere where you can read them often to remind you of what special kids you have and what they bring into your life. If, by chance, there is a family member or friend,who knew my kids, reading this post please post your favorite memory or send me an email with that memory because I would like to have it to put with a memory book. Thanks!

my sweet babies

  • Posted on October 16, 2008 at 10:21 am

Last night I spent the evening with my dear friend Maxine sharing pictures and memories of my children with her. It was very healing for me and it was amazing how the meories just flowed when I saw pictures. I would see a picture and it was like I was taken back to that very moment it was taken.  I can’t do that with all of them; however, it was comforting to know that I still have memories. Lately, I have been feeling like I am having an out of body experience only it isn’t myself that I am looking down on. Not only that I feel like my children are fading into the distance because the only time I can really recall happy memories is when I am looking at pictures. That isn’t just frustrating to me its scary because I carried my precious ones for nine months, I worried about them, I dried their tears and I love them!! How can 6 yrs of beautiful memories just vanish leaving just a void or immense pain in their place?

This morning…

  • Posted on June 27, 2008 at 9:33 am

It took me awhile to wake up this morning at first it was because it was early and then it was because of where my sub-conscience had taken me. You know how i said that I have been waking up with songs going through my head? well it happened a gain this morning. At first i didn’t know where the song had come from and thenit hit me. It came from my children’s memorial video. I didn’t feel sad I felt joy as I pictured my daughter in her neon orange,yes neon orange, swimsuit and her blue hat with her bag that has her name on it. she has a beautiful smile and blonde curly locks that just whisper,” sunshine”. I pictured others whom I love as well and felt sunshine. It wasn’t until my phone rang that I decided I’d better get up. This is the song that I woke to this morning:
Sing by the Carpenters

Ian’s life sketch read at his funeral

  • Posted on November 10, 2007 at 7:25 am

Life Sketch of Ian Michael N

Ian Michael N was born on July 25, 2002.His name was carefully chosen by his parents. At first Jim had wanted his name to be Ivan which means “John the Beloved” in Russian. His Middle name was chosen because he has a cousin with that same name. They settled on Ian because Leslie likes the name and they believe Ian means “John the Beloved” as well. (It does mean “John the Beloved” I just couldn’t remember in what language at the time. It is a Scottish form of John.) Ian’s dad especially wished for his initials to spell out I am N. As you all know Ian lived up to his name quite “nicely”. Ian has a favorite blanket that is blue with pink elephants and brown giraffes. He liked to chew on the fringe and he carried it wherever he went. He loved to play with trucks, phones and anything that made noise. Ian always played so hard that he would fall asleep anywhere and in almost any position.

As I was one of his nursery teachers, I learned very quickly that Ian was always up for an adventure. He spent a great deal of time exploring the nursery by way of climbing on top of tables and chairs. One of his favorite songs was 3 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. Each time I would tell him “Ian you better get down cuz I don’t want you to fall off and bump your head,” he would look at me and grin from ear to ear with that beautiful smile of his. His dad told me that when Ian was about 18 months old, he began climbing to the top of Justin’s and Spencer’s bunk beds and his father recalls that it was like he knew right where to place his feet.

From the day that Jim and Leslie brought him home from the hospital you could see a pure love for his brothers, later his sister Raquel and ,of course, his mom and dad. Ian would dance and twirl for almost anyone and loved to make others laugh. As his audience laughed, it encouraged him to do more. One of his mom’s favorite memories of Ian was how he would help her with the dishes. All he had to do was see her open the dishwasher and he was right there to lend a hand even if it meant sitting on the dishwasher lid to get it done. His mom will always cherish the moments when Ian would cuddle with her or sit on her lap and blow kisses to her cheek. Ian had many nicknames: Ian Bian & mess maker. A favorite family song to the tune of Matchmaker could be heard through the house, Mess Maker, Mess Maker, make me a mess!” If Ian was getting into mischief his dad would say, Mr. Ian SIR , if you don’t mind SIR !

Ian would then turn to his dad and give him this big silly grin and start laughing. His brothers could often be heard mimicking their dad and many times say “Mr. Ian SIR”. Some of his dad’s favorite memories are when dad would come though the door after work and Ian would rush to give him a big hug and an even bigger smile. There were times when he would push Justin and Spencer out of the way so he could be first in line. His dad will always cherish the times when Ian would fall asleep on his lap. In concluding the imprint of Ian’s lively spirit and brilliant smile will always remain with all the lives he touched around him. His parents loving wish is for all of us to remember the joy he brought us.

Justin’s Life sketch

  • Posted on November 10, 2007 at 7:22 am

Spencer’s life sketch

  • Posted on November 10, 2007 at 7:22 am
Originally Posted by Sweet Leslie on Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 07:49 AM
Spencer was born on September 19, 1999 at 8:53 ,on a Sunday evening, 11 minutes after his brother arrived in this world. Spencer loved life. He was such a loving and sensitive little boy. He seemed to know when someone needed a hug because he would hug anyone whether he knew them or not. He always was on the hunt for his teacher, Vikki Owsley, because he had to make sure she gother morning hug.He loved to draw and make things. His Christmas present to me was his hand print and picture with a little calendar. He also made many Christmas ornaments for our tree . When he would draw or do crafts with markers or crayons and construction paper he would put yellow on it somewhere (yellow was his favorite color)whether it was the paper that was yellow and the color he used (which is very hard to see) or just the items he used.I often thought it was an unusual color for a boy but that changed when I learned that it was my Great Grandma Hall’s favorite color too. It gave me comfort because I believe that our loved ones who pass from this earthly existence watch over us. He may have talked with her and learned that it was her favorite color. I also think that it is very fitting because he was a ray of sunshine.

My favorite memory of my sweet boy is the last day he was with our family he shared his cookies and other sweets with us .They were left over from his school party. He had to make sure that everyone got something. He was so loving and giving and he has carried that with him to the other side of the veil and will have great success in sharing his message with others that he meets in heaven.

Ian’s life sketch

  • Posted on November 10, 2007 at 7:21 am
Originally Posted by Sweet Leslie on Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 07:49 AM

Ian Michael was born July 25, 2002 at 11:49 PM. From the moment he was born I knew he was special. When he was fussy all you would need to do was whisper his name “Ian, Ian” he would quiet immediately. He was the peacemaker when ever he heard or witnessed angry words being said he would do whatever it took to distract us.

He was also known to get into mischief. If water was running he was the one right in the middle of the “fun”. I was talking about him with a friend and I told her about a time that I heard water running outside one day and so I went outside and there was Ian soaking wet with the garden hose waving it around and having a good time. I was fortunate to get pictures. There was another time that brought a smile to my face. I was watching TV or playing a game and I heard the water running in the kitchen. Ian had climbed up on the counter, climbed in the sink and had the faucet on and the smile on his face was priceless. The last experience that I can recall was when he was caught climbing in the toilet yes the toilet! He had one leg in and one leg out!

He passed away on Mother’s day (May 9, 2004). He is dear to my heart and I know that because he came to our family I am a better mom. I played with his brothers and sister, I read to them and I did all I could do to keep them safe and happy because he came to our family.

Raquel’s life sketch

  • Posted on November 10, 2007 at 7:20 am

Raquel was born August 22, 2003 at 7:37 am. She was a beautiful and loving baby and young toddler. She had beautiful brown eyes, a smile that lit up the room and blonde curls that were the envy of all who met her.Raquel enjoyed being read to. I had no school on Fridays so I got to spend the day with her. Sometimes I had some homework to finish before noon that day and she seemed to sense when I needed a break because she would bring me a stack of books and she wasn’t satisfied until I read every last one. Some of her favorite books included: Santa Cows, Are You my Mother?, Green Eggs and Ham, and I Can Count.She loved to wear dresses. We started potty training her in September of last year and it was easier and faster to get her to the potty if we put her in dress. When it started getting colder we put her in pants. One day I came home from school and she was not in the pants and shirt that I put her in that morning. When I asked my mom if she had had an accident she said no she just found a dress and took her clothes off and changed.Raquel was a very smart little girl. I do not remember when she began saying her body parts and her animal noises but she knew them and was very proud of herself. Our favorite animal noise was the chicken and Rooster because they were the same sound: Bacadoo. It came to be called the gender confused chicken. When we taught her body parts my mom added a part of her own. When we asked her where her bologna was she would point to her ears. Just before she past away, she had not been feeling well and my mom would massage her and tell her she was getting rid of the bologna. Even after she was feeling better she would ask to have her bologna blown away because that is what my mom did she blew it away.