Okay, so I deleted an entry. It was a draft that I started months ago. I deleted it because I realized that it wasn’t how I felt anymore. I actually wish I was having an out of body experience because then maybe the emotions that I feel would flow more freely instead of remaining just below the surface aching to be set free. A few days ago I watched a Christmas special and knew it would help me to cry. I don’t what it is but I just don’t cry to cry. My life is currently well…and I should have cried, but instead I have a head splitting headache (yes I have been drinking water.) and its been so bad that I have been going to bed every night this week at 8 P.M. no exceptions and my heart aches and I want to throw things and….cry until I can’t cry anymore. So why is it so damn hard!?
Why is crying so Damn hard
December 16th, 2009
P.S. When I want to cry I can’t and I don’t it flows like Niagra Falls. What up with that!