Ever since some stranger posted on my blog about my negativeity I have done what I can to be postive and uplifting in an effort to encourage my readers, though they may be few, and be able to go back myself on a day I don’t exactly feel chipper. Well, today I just need to vent. I went to the eye doctor on Monday to check my progress and he said there just isn’t any improvement in fact I see a problem. i can see, but not well in fact my sight comes and goes some days I see like I did before the surgery and then others everything is blurry not just letters and words. I am trying to be positive, but and I usually don’t have any but but today I do, but I am tired and I feel so alone. I have got a blessing from my bishop and afterwards we talked. He was as if he knew what I was thinking, which was why and how do I pull through this. He said I don’t know what the Lord has in store for you and I just said all I know is we have such a limited view of why and the Lord’s view is more expanded. There is a purpose I just don’t know what its is and I have faith in the Priesthood and I hate it when things are out of my control. I am thinking he is just wanting me to trust him. Sometimes its easier said than done. There are so many things i want to do and can’t right now. There is also the question of am I destined to be alone for the rest of this life or not. That one is driving me batty. I have always felt that the answer is no even after everything that happened, but sometimes i just waonder if that was my wishful thinking…
Hard time…
April 14th, 2009